I find "Your Day" Lame

So...I had this posted then got some negative feedback from a few people saying I was arrogant and hurtful. So I took it down. "I don't see what is hurtful. People are just upset that they have no capability of thinking outside the norm." It was refreshing to hear that from my sister. I don't think I'm either one of those things. Then I got down on myself for doing exactly what I don't like about a lot of people, conforming and editing myself. I decided to repost it. I think I'm just honest and critical of people who don't think outside of the box and live their lives according to what's traditionally acceptable in society. All I'm saying is, you don't have to agree with me. If you don't like what I write, don't read it!

Here I go...

Okay so apparently it’s wedding season? Magazines and my newsfeed are filled with wedding pictures, and I have to say I’m not in the least bit impressed with what’s going on. Where’s the originality? All I see are white shiny satin dresses, embellished with beads, embroidery, lace, ribbon, and sequins. YAK! Uhhhh What?! Why!? Some of you are probably reading this and thinking “what a bitch!” or “she’s not talking about my wedding pictures…is she?” well I’ll save you from your curiosity, and yes I probably am. I’m already iffy about weddings in general, and If and when I get married I’d like to think that it will be a pretty organic and laid back celebration of my relationship with my significant other.

Mirror lined walls, chandeliers with an abundance of crystal, gold leafed sconces, an overflow of manicured imported flowers, “would you like the meat, fish, or chicken?,” floor to ceiling windows..it’s just all so absurd! It’s all the same. Why would you spend so much money on such tacky and impersonal elements? Don’t you think your special day should be an exact representation of who you are and what you’re about? Don’t tell me that cheesy production you call a wedding, is who you are. I know you're better than that.

Honestly, I think I would consider a wedding at a Nascar racing track more interesting and respectable than a banquet hall. Atleast it would reflect your interest and be a complete representation of who you guys are.

My dad remarried last year, and there wasn’t one thing about his wedding that did not represent who he and my stepmom are. My dad work’s for Hostess cupcakes and is a “true” New Yorker, and everything about his wedding had Nove and Patten written all over it. The night before the wedding friends and family helped build their wedding cake out of Hostess cakes, which was later featured in Food Network Magazine! The ceremony took place on a water taxi that went up the Hudson river, around the Statue of Liberty and docked at the Brooklyn Bridge. We all celebrated at a small Italian restaurant under the Brooklyn Bridge (my dad’s favorite New York landmark.) You know?! It was personal, intimate, and different.

I’d just like to, for once, see a wedding celebration that reflects the real beauty of what these people are trying to celebrate. I'm not completely hating on your day, I'm sure you were completely happy, but i think most of you could have done a better job celebrating. What's the point of a wedding party? A bright white wedding dress? Matching bridesmaid dresses? An overpriced bland wedding cake? I think the meaning and purpose of a wedding has been lost and completely compromised thanks to the billion dollar wedding industry. Hay, if you're into gaudy glitzy shit, that's fine, that's your thing, but at least make it original and not such a massly produced cookie cutter event. Why be an Enterman's cookie when you can you can be made from scratch and love? I think people have forgotten the point of a wedding, and that its not about image and showing off what you can, and in most cases can't, afford! It's about celebrating and sharing your happiness with the people you love. It’s just so typical, or American, that people go for the bigger is better route.

Jam on it!

Blackberries, blueberries and raspberries . Heck yes!

I went berry picking last week, on a beautiful cloudy Thursday, with my 2 sisters and brother. The drive was about an hour and a half and I was pilot of the journey. Looking into the rear view mirror and seeing the unenthused faces of my dear sisters, I was totally amped, as we drove into the grey horizon. I knew it was going to be a killer sibling fun day!

We arrived at Patty’s Berries and Bunches, which by the way was (not so) coincidently featured in Time Out New York after we went, and the lack of crowd was perfect for our photo shoot! Obviously the only reason my siblings and I hang out, is to take pictures of each other and post them on Facebook . This is always a guarantee to make our “friends” think we’re fun, cool and green with envy. I’m sure of it!

We got our baskets and skipped hand in hand down the rows of bountiful blackberry bushes, as if we were setting off onto the yellow brick road. We even took a nap in a field of poppies zinnias! Five minutes in we all felt the effects of the acidic berries turning our stomachs and staining our lips. I mean, it was completely necessary to test a berry from each bush! We couldn’t risk collecting bad berries and tainting our jam. Four baskets of blackberries, and we didn’t have enough. We decided we needed blueberries. We only got two baskets and divided into teams. Faith and Keith lost. Blah Blah Blah we picked more berries it was fun. We ended up with 10 quarts of blackberries, blueberries and raspberries.

We learned a lot about berry picking:

1. The berry’s you can’t reach are the sweetest and most valuable…they’re also guarded by bee’s.
2. Establish your boundaries and berry etiquette.
a.If I saw my sister or brother picking from a bush where there were prize winning berries, I'd let them steal the glory and flaunt their findings…there are plenty of berries to find. I’m only saying this because there was a father and son, stepping all up in personal space and admiring our findings….uhhhh he he heeellloooooooo! You don’t mooch off of other people’s findings.
3. The softer the berry the sweeter the taste!

We went to Love Lane Kitchen on Love Lane in Mattituck after. We weren’t hungry but we knew should eat , because it was lunch time. Flash, Flash, munch, munch, pose..hayyyy we had a great day of taking pictures!

On our speedy drive home we passed the overrated and overcrowded east bound traffic to the Hamptons. I’ll say this…If you want a vacation, why would you sit in a shitload of traffic to be with everyone you want a vacation from? Anyway, thank you materialistic-egotistical-wasteful-weekenders for shifting to the shit end of the Island; your vacation is my vacation!

Berries washed, sugar measured, jars sanitized, bickering, dirty looks, dancing and constant stirring check, check and check! Surviving a crowded kitchen and a few minor burns, we ended with 18 jars of delicious jam, and you’re most likely not getting one!

Pins and Needles

Faith and I are going to join creative forces and start embroidering cool stuff you wish you thought of. Don't you worry, you'll soon be able to purchase our masterpieces! So,in preparation for this totally awesome and exciting venture, I decided to start using my precious hard earned cash-money, on the embroidering essentials. First step, I decided to get lost in the most amazing black hole of resources and inspirational eye candy: Barnes & Noble’s Craft book aisle. As I sat down on the floor with a pile of books I couldn’t afford, I felt myself flooding with creative plans and ideas!

So I got a book, or three! After spending hours of reading up on embroidering techniques, obviously the next step was getting the supplies. Failing to find my old collection of floss, that I once used to brand my friend’s wrists, announcing our friendship, I decided to head to a local store specializing in needlepoint. GASP! What the hell was I thinking?! “I’ll be right with you” said the sales (bitch), while I stared at a beautiful palette of floss on the wall. An ENTIRE wall! A few minutes passed by, when she finally decided to grudgingly help me, “what can I (not) help you with today?” As she stared me up and down, I told her I was interested in embroidery and wanted to know what I can do to get started. “This is a needlepoint store, I can’t help you!” Oh yea? As I stare into a wall of needles and floss, “Oh, okay, do you know where I could go to get stuff for embroidery?” It looked as if she was holding back vomit, and as she rolled her eyes in disgust “yea, there’s a store like that a few towns over.” So I got the information and drove 20 minutes to what I thought would be an embroidery Mecca. FALSE! “Oh we don’t carry any of that stuff here!” Once again walls of floss. “This is a cross stitching store, not embroidery!” Piss off! As a sales person in a knitting store, I was extremely confused as to why no one wanted to help me, especially, when they clearly needed the business and had the stuff I needed. I left the store extremely annoyed that these crafty bitches were so rude, and uninviting to newcomers into the needle crafting world. Their loss, not mine! However, if one of them happen to walk in my store, asking about crocheting, it’s a promise that I will not help those hookers!

Eventually I ended up at Joann Fabric’s and found what I needed. Hoops, fabrics, needles and floss. I’m all set, and heading to Faith’s in a bit to get started.